Triple X Series [upd] «Fully Tested»

While not a terrible action film (Willem Dafoe makes a great villain), it fails as an xXx movie. Audiences didn't want a generic "wronged man clears his name" plot. They wanted the ridiculous, flag-waving, nuclear-bomb-surfing insanity of the original. The film bombed, grossing just $71 million against a $60 million budget. The franchise went dormant for over a decade. The Nostalgic Comeback (2017): xXx: Return of Xander Cage After a 12-year hiatus, the franchise did something unprecedented: it retconned the sequel. Return of Xander Cage opens by revealing that Xander faked his death (explaining his absence), completely ignoring Ice Cube’s tenure.

The film was self-aware. It didn’t try to beat Bond at sophistication; it beat him at volume. The soundtrack (featuring Gavin Rossdale, Drowning Pool, and Mushroomhead) was a nu-metal time capsule. The stunts were practical and visceral. And Diesel, in his post- F&F prime, oozed a specific kind of blue-collar charisma. It was a massive hit, grossing nearly $300 million worldwide. The Sequel Without the Core (2005): xXx: State of the Union If the first film was lightning in a bottle, State of the Union is the cautionary tale of franchise mismanagement. Vin Diesel opted out (choosing to star in The Chronicles of Riddick instead), so the studio pivoted hard. triple x series

Watch xXx (2002) for the stunts, watch Return of Xander Cage (2017) for the chaotic ensemble, and watch State of the Union (2005) only if you are a completionist. Xander Cage might be an agent of chaos, but as franchises go, he is our agent of chaos. While not a terrible action film (Willem Dafoe

In the early 2000s, the spy genre was a crowded battlefield. Pierce Brosnan’s James Bond was refining suave sophistication, Matt Damon’s Jason Bourne was introducing gritty realism, and Tom Cruise’s Ethan Hunt was climbing skyscrapers. Into this fray, in 2002, came a character who couldn’t tie a bow tie, didn’t speak French, and whose idea of infiltration was driving a classic GTO through a European window. The film bombed, grossing just $71 million against