"One cannot describe this heat," Clarkson narrated, wiping his brow with a sock. "This is the heat you feel when you open an oven to check on a pizza, except the pizza is you, and the oven is the entire planet."
This is the oral history of the most sweaty, sandy, and spiritually enlightening road trip in Top Gear history. The formula was classic Wilman. The budget: £3,500. The rule: It must be a convertible. The setting: The Empty Quarter (Rub' al Khali), a place so inhospitable that NASA uses it to test Mars rovers.
Jeremy Clarkson, predictably, bought a BMW 325i Convertible. "It's a six-cylinder masterpiece of German efficiency," he boomed, as the electric roof failed within thirty seconds of leaving Dubai. top gear middle eastern special
What followed was an hour of sweaty, cursing, hopeless physics. The more they dug, the deeper the BMW sank. It was a metaphor for British foreign policy in the region, but funnier.
And James May? He bought a 1996 Fiat Barchetta. A tiny, flimsy, Italian two-seater that looked like a ballet shoe. "It is the prettiest car here," he noted, peering at the engine. "It also appears to be leaking all of its bodily fluids onto this pristine hotel driveway." The Middle East special is not about driving. It is about survival. As the trio crossed from the UAE into Oman, the ambient temperature hit 48 degrees Celsius. "One cannot describe this heat," Clarkson narrated, wiping
"Traction," May explained, laying the carpet under the wheels. "It’s the same principle as the Egyptians using logs to build the pyramids. Except we are idiots, and the pyramids are a 1996 Fiat Barchetta."
It seemed like a good idea at the time. Send three middle-aged men—one who looks like a confused geography teacher, one who dresses like a rejected 90s pop star, and one who is, well, a hamster—into the furnace of the Middle East. Give them three cheap, decaying convertibles. Tell them to find the lost city of Ubar, also known as "The Atlantis of the Sands." The budget: £3,500
"We are going to die here," said Hammond, quietly. "Yes," replied May. "But at least the stereo in the Fiat still works." Leave it to Captain Slow to save the day. While Clarkson wanted to set the BMW on fire (a recurring theme), May produced a roll of carpet from the Fiat's minuscule boot.