Motherhood, I’m learning, isn’t about balance. It’s about learning to live in the wreckage and finding that the wreckage is actually just a very messy, very loud, very beautiful new kind of home.
I was wrong. Motherhood isn’t an addition. It’s a liquidation. mutha magazine author z
I am still in the goo phase, honestly. But I am learning that the liquidation sale isn't a loss. It's a trade. I traded the ability to sleep in for the ability to catch my daughter’s smile at 6 AM—that gummy, uncoordinated, miraculous thing. I traded the quiet of my own mind for the noise of a tiny person learning to laugh. Motherhood, I’m learning, isn’t about balance
The turning point wasn't a yoga class or a “self-care Sunday.” It was a Tuesday afternoon at 2 PM. My daughter was finally napping. I hadn't showered in two days. My hair was in a knot that required scissors to remove. I sat on the couch and instead of crying, I just… laughed. A dry, cracked, ugly laugh. Motherhood isn’t an addition
That’s the secret they put in the fine print. The postpartum period isn’t just sleep deprivation. It’s a hostile takeover of your psyche. You become a vessel for someone else’s needs so completely that when someone asks, “And how are you doing?” you have to pause for ten seconds to remember if you’re a person who has preferences.