Mutha Magazine Article By Alison -

The other night, I couldn’t sleep. Not because the baby was crying—she’s four now, and sleeps like a tiny log. Not because of the news, though that’s plenty. No, I was awake because I was mentally rearranging the pantry.

Let me explain.

Here’s a short piece written in the style of an article for Mutha Magazine , by a writer named Alison. Mutha typically explores the raw, unvarnished, and often humorous or painful realities of motherhood—centering voices that challenge the pristine, conventional narrative. The Unseen Load: On Motherhood and the Mental Spreadsheet mutha magazine article by alison

Mutha doesn’t usually do tidy endings, so I won’t give you one. I’ll just say this: yesterday, I sat in the car in the Target parking lot for seventeen minutes. I didn’t go in. I just sat there, watching a crow peck at a bag of spilled popcorn. And I thought: That crow has no spreadsheet. That crow is just being a crow. The other night, I couldn’t sleep

Because that’s the thing about this load. It’s invisible. It’s unpaid. And somehow, it’s still the most important job I’ve ever done. No, I was awake because I was mentally

Around 2 a.m., I realized we were out of the oval-shaped crackers. Not the round ones—those are for school lunches. The ovals. The ones my toddler will actually eat without negotiating a trade deal. Then came the domino effect: if we’re out of ovals, I need to pack extra cheese sticks. If I pack extra cheese sticks, I need to buy more before Thursday, because Thursday is early dismissal and that means double snacks. Double snacks mean I’ll be late to work pickup, which means my boss will give me that look—the one that says, We’re very family-friendly, but also, please stop leaving at 4:47.

For a moment, I was jealous. And then I went inside and bought the oval crackers.