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The cloud evangelists promised a world of serverless functions and auto-scaling containers. But the accounts payable department doesn't need a microservices architecture. They need a static, pixel-perfect PDF of invoice aging that looks exactly like it did in 2009. They need the "Crystal" runtime that their clunky VB6 application was compiled against. They need the specific version that understands their particular flavor of Cyrillic characters in the footer.
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